mr. keller was right
mr. keller was right
August 18, 2009
Science has appealed to me since high school because of its ability to identify objective truths. You can describe something true about carbon in a way that’s much harder to do about a novel or a painting. But although I like science, I’m not a “math” person. I chose to study biology in college because I could learn science while avoiding equations. So it took a special teacher to make me like a really math-oriented science like physics. Mr. Keller*, my 11th grade physics teacher, was able to do that. He made physics fun and understandable, and helped me have the confidence to take more science classes. I don’t remember much physics any more, but I do remember one particular day in his class.
For some reason, maybe to put things in perspective after a test we all performed poorly on, he told the class that at one point in our lives we would all fail big time at something that really mattered to us. One student, with considerable chutzpah, asked Mr. Keller what he had failed at. Without missing a beat he answered “being a father.” No one asked him to explain that and he moved on with the lecture. But I knew what Mr. Keller meant because my friend’s older sister went to high school with one of his kids. She had told me that one of his sons committed suicide. I don’t know if Mr. Keller was really a failure of a father; parenthood is probably not something where we can be assigned pass/fail grades. But he thought he was a failure, and there are no second chances when it comes to raising children.
Mr. Keller’s prediction that failure is inevitable is at odds with an idea I’ve heard regularly at church, which is that “God will not test us above our ability.” Is this true? And where does the phrase come from?
The word “test” doesn’t appear anywhere in the Bible, Book of Mormon, or any other book of scripture. “Trial” and “adversity” are there, but not in any phrase that suggests our trials will be tailored to our ability to resist them. The scriptures do say that God will support us through adversity, and that God has blessings for those who endure adversity well. For example Alma 36:3 says,
“Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles.”
And Doctrine & Covenants 121:8 says,
“If thou endure [adversity] well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
The scriptures acknowledge that adversity is hard to deal with, and tell us that God can be a resource for us as we encounter life’s problems. We are even promised rewards for enduring them well. But in my (admittedly not exhaustive) search, I can’t find anything saying trials will not be above our ability to resist. If they were, it would mean that God is involved in calculating the conditions of our lives to fit a pre-measured assessment of our abilities, and I think that would be totally at odds with the fact that mortal life is about growth. If we are only given tests we can pass (even if we have to work hard to pass them), we don’t learn anything about ourselves. I don’t quiz my son about alphabet letters he already knows, I ask him questions I’m certain he doesn’t know the answer to. It’s a teaching method. Likewise, taking practice versions of standardized tests is helpful because you don’t know what you don’t know until you take the test and get things wrong. God is not about tailor-making trials that are calculated to test us just to the limit of our ability to behave well but no further. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that if our trials were calculated to never test us beyond our breaking point, we couldn’t really grow.
In creating the world and populating it with human beings, God knew we would fail at things. In meeting adversity, my response to it is seldom what I would like it to be. I curse about it, complain about it, and sometimes hurt other people in the process of dealing with it. Failing to respond to adversity with perfect composure and perspective doesn’t necessarily mean I was tested beyond my ability, but it may. And given that people fail with regularity, I’d say we are tested beyond our ability with regularity. But we are not doomed because we have our Savior. We can repent and do better next time.
There is another reason I’m uncomfortable with the idea that our trials won’t push us beyond our ability, which is that it assumes that God is involved in the minutia of our lives, creating trouble for some sort of didactic purpose. Things happen to everyone that are unfair, undeserved, and unexplainable. I don’t think God puts those things in our way, it’s just life. I may be wrong about this, but the notion that God is the source of suffering is not consistent with my belief in a loving God.
The idea that we will not be tested beyond our ability may be a twist on this scripture:
“There hath no tempation taken you but such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
I take this scripture at face value and accept that it is within my capability to not succumb to temptation (although of course, I do succumb to it). But there is a distinction between temptation and adversity. I think it is beyond the human condition to be able to weather all of life’s challenges with perfect faith, hope, and charity. We fail, sometimes in a major way. I think the important thing is to not get down on ourselves too much about that, but to instead know that next time we will do better, and the Savior will help make things right in the end.
* I changed his name.